Surviving My Thoughts

It has been a long time since I first considered creating a website that would discuss my journey with mental illness. I knew that there were many great resources out there and so questioned why I would want to add another. But I realized that we each have a story to tell and that if perchance you have come upon this site, it may have something, however small, to offer you on your journey.

 My name is David and I am a gay man in my mid forties, born, raised and living in Canada. My most recent employment has been as a secretary and I've been in that position since 2000. I have been in a committed relationship since 1993, which has offered me great love and support and has allowed me to come to face some of the things I will discuss on this site.

The two illnesses I will discuss in my site are bipolar disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). I have chosen the title for this site based upon my experience of these two illnesses. While these illnesses may express in different symptoms and behaviours, for me, they are markedly expressed through changes in thinking, particulary tormented and excrutiating thoughts that may lead to behaviours, as in the case with OCD. Surviving my thoughts has been, for me, a reality.

Mental illness has been in my life for a long time. I witnessed it outside of me in my family and then inside of me in my own thoughts and behaviours. I have learned a lot from mental illness - in many ways, it has been a great teacher to me.

It has challenged me to look into my thinking and to question the reasons for the absence of peace in my life - a very human pursuit, indeed. It has also taught me a lot about how to deal with people because we all have pain, we all have suffering, and looking into my own pain and suffering has helped me to be able to witness other's pain and suffering - perhaps with a bit more compassion and a little less fear.