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ocd: washing

"You are on a cruiseship holiday and a very virulent strain of the flu has broken out. People around you are getting sick and the medical crew has announced that the only way to reduce the spread of the illness is proper handwashing with lots of soap and hot water, particularly after using the washroom and before eating. You see the people around you becoming ill and you avoid them. This is your only chance to take a cruise and you don't want it ruined by illness. You have mental images of getting sick, or getting someone else sick because you didn't wash your hands and you touched something that they then touch and they get sick because your hands were dirty. You don't want to be responsible for causing that. So you wash your hands a lot.But you aren't sure whether you washed long enough - you don't know if your hands are really clean enough, so you wash them again.This time, you wash them longer and using more soap. Maybe then they might feel clean and no one will get hurt and so you won't have caused that bad thing to happen to yourself or someone else.

In this day of e-coli outbreaks and talk of a next pandemic floating around, it's not hard to be a bit obsessive about washing our hands.  But hand washing rituals to reduce anxiety thoughts are not the same thing as good hygiene.   Sometimes, I would wake up at three in the morning and have to wash my hands, an action stirred by the thought that I might get someone sick if I didn't.   This is not a rational fear or thought.  But OCD isn't rational.  And the anxiety caused by the thoughts can become so oppressive and uncomfortable that taking some kind of action seems to help reduce that feeling...at least for a while.

There were times when I felt I was living in a world of dirt and germs that I had to somehow avoid and escape. The world became a maze of possible infections or illnesses that I had to wash off in order to prevent a tragic outcome I kept thinking about.

Some people with washing compulsions can spend hours in the shower, not sure they have really gotten clean, to the point where they are seriously damaging their skin and have hardly any time to live and work.

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While this website deals with issues and information about mental health please be advised that the author is not a mental health or medical professional. The information herein is in no way intended to be used as a substitute for professional guidance and the author cannot be held responsible for any choices you may make based upon the information contained in this website.