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ocd
"Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a very real, chronic, often severe condition that is associated with considerable long-term suffering. Its recurrent intrusive thoughts usually evoke discomfort or anxiety (obsessions) and/or senseless repetitive actions (compulsions) performed in an effort to reduce discomfort and anxiety. OCD manifests itself in a myriad of ways, from house cleaning to hand washing to object hoarding. OCD occurs in a spectrum from mild to severe, but if severe and left untreated, can destroy a person's capacity to function at work, at school or even in the home."
finding out
When I first read a first-hand account of OCD, my life flashed before my eyes and so much of my suffering started to make sense. But reading about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder was very freaky at first, because it was as if somebody reached into the deep recesses of my mind and exposed the very peculiar and embarrassing mental torment with which I struggled. I, like many people with OCD, thought that whatever was going on in my head was very strange and that I was the only person experiencing this. I tried as much as possible to hide my OCD thoughts and behaviours from others, so shameful were my feelings about it. So to read about it; to have it out on paper, defined in great detail, was astonishing and odd.
For me, hope is often about knowing where I am. Like when I'm lost in a large shopping mall, there's nothing like finding that large map with the little dot that says, "You are here." Well, so too with my internal life.
what it's like
What if, what if, what if...to me OCD is a malady of possibility - always negative. What if I didn't lock the front door and what if someone walks in and what if...
OCD takes many forms and is changeable throughout our lifetime. However, it is usually the case that the function of the illness is the presence of mental ideas or images that provoke anxiety and the physical or mental actions required to temporarily reduce that anxiety. Here are a few examples of my own experiences with OCD:
treatments
Before trying medication, I worked on a cognitive approach to dealing with my obsessions and compulsions. The key activity that helped me most in this area was to identify when I as compulsing or obsessing. I was then able to write down all the obsessive thoughts I was having and to look at them objectively, analyse their veracity and formulate reasonable responses to them. I also explored delaying my compulsive reactions, like waiting for a period of time before I washed my hands when the urge was strong. Without medication as part of the treatment, I had lukewarm success, building some skills for dealing with the OCD in the process of trying to work with the obsessions and compulsions.
Introducing medication into the mix made all the difference in the world. The cognitive work with obsessions and the delaying of the compulsions became far more effective and natural. I just had more space to actually succeed with the exercises.
At this point, my obsessions and compulsions are far more manageable. It has become natural to identify what I call OCD thinking and to remind myself about what OCD is, how it behaves and the choices that are available to me.
OCD is still very much a part of my life and it is quite likely it always will be. In stressful times or when I'm tired, I am more likely to have more difficult episodes. So it is very important that I do my best to take care of myself at those times.
While this website deals with issues and information about mental health please be advised that the author is not a mental health or medical professional. The information herein is in no way intended to be used as a substitute for professional guidance and the author cannot be held responsible for any choices you may make based upon the information contained in this website.
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